“For months, since electing Donald Trump, Gaza was silently starving with very little media attention. Now, with their total annihilation, the world will be forced to focus on them once more.”

“Did you know America pays back social security to the elderly? Such waste! And don’t even get me started on the USAID, congressmen, or the judicial branch.”

The candidates stand in stark contrast on the issues, Harris defending universal healthcare, and a woman’s right to choose, while Trump says abortions should only be legal for “eights and above.”

Alito explained “when Dick Cheney shot a man in the face, there was so much respect for public officials that the man shot in the face apologized to him. Now, our social contract is so heavily eroded that I cannot even accept a trip on Lord Putin’s private yacht without the media asking a million questions.”